Last Thursday marked the season kickoff for the titans of capital hill. In a thrilling, nail biting contest of endurance, F.C. held the grey team scoreless in the face of great adversity. Despite expected rain delays, F.C’s first game was played as the threat of rain loomed. The mighty purples would not be intimidated or driven away by the Crooks blatant attempts at intimidation. Upon investigation, it was discovered that Crooks forward (and known German national) Ben Hoefs hired murder-ballers to circle the field and frighten Horgan’s hero’s, giving clear advantage to Auf Wierdersehen Adu. But his dirty tactics were all in vain.
Despite a lack of players, F.C proved their metal. Underplaying their own experience and athleticism, rookie players John and Gary proved that they are a force to be reckoned with. Despite some early fouls, Donica settled down in the second half and proved to be a defensive wall. Weaving in and out of Auf’s defensives, Glenn impressed even district rivals as they asked him to play another game. When asked how his body could endure such hardship, he answered, “I ate my Wheates” – his endorsement deal with Kellogg’s is pending. Despite being mistaken for David Beckham, and being manhandled by the opposing teams German-Swimmer-like defender, forwards Katie and Andrea worked together like a pair or Siamese twins making many impressive (if not successful) shots on goal.
Impressive beginning to the season. The next game is schedule for May 4th at 4:00pm.
The Game was a tie, 0-0.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Rain Gods Answer Crooks’ Prayers
Last week the world was shocked as many members of the K Street Crooks, including Saracen Mustafa Dimbiloglu, made time to meet with the Pope. The objective of the mission is now clear to all. Crooks members Malacarne and Dimbiloglu met with his holiness to pray for the postponement of both the match and their lives. It seems divine intervention has given the Crooks a stay of execution.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Tensions Rise at the Start of a New Season
Romulus v. Remus, York v. Lancaster, Montague v. Capulet – much like the great rivalries of antiquity, fans of the Capital Hill League wait in eager anticipation for the match up of blood rivals “The K Street Crooks” and “F.C. K Street.” Following the bitter and highly contested shake up in the Crooks roster in the off season this match up promises to be a melee of blood and tears.
Defenders and co-captains Katie Horgan and Amber Lovell have left nothing to chance. The lengths they will go to assure victory knows no bounds. All night strategy meetings have convened in a secret and undisclosed location, rumored to be somewhere west of the mighty Potomac. Plans to take down rival captain Mustafa Dimbiloglu have reached cold-war status; a source close to Dimbiloglu reports that “Moose has become more and more paranoid, patting down all people before speaking to them and demanding that his brother Erdal taste his food to make sure it is not poisoned…he looks horrible, he has not slept in days.”
Physical preparedness has become tantamount. Stories out of spring training are staggering. Bypassing lunch with coworkers, Horgan has taken to running the steps of the Senate while humming the Rocky theme song. Lovell has been mercilessly testing the threshold of human endurance and pain by doing one-armed push-ups while her students sit on her back.
As of now the preceding extracts represent rumor, legend and speculation. This reporter has scoured the greater DC area in search of F.C. players to interview for a first hand account. However, in the build-up to the big game they have become more and more elusive. F.C defender Andrew Donica could not be reached for comment. In a statement released by his manager Donica is reportedly “sequestered with ancient maters in the Hua Shan mountains, preparing himself physically, mentally and spiritually for the upcoming game.”
Ancient masters, secret meetings, assassination conspiracies…if this match lives up to half of its hype it will surely be one for the ages. Like so many fans around the world, this reporter waits with bated breath for the showdown of the century.
Defenders and co-captains Katie Horgan and Amber Lovell have left nothing to chance. The lengths they will go to assure victory knows no bounds. All night strategy meetings have convened in a secret and undisclosed location, rumored to be somewhere west of the mighty Potomac. Plans to take down rival captain Mustafa Dimbiloglu have reached cold-war status; a source close to Dimbiloglu reports that “Moose has become more and more paranoid, patting down all people before speaking to them and demanding that his brother Erdal taste his food to make sure it is not poisoned…he looks horrible, he has not slept in days.”
Physical preparedness has become tantamount. Stories out of spring training are staggering. Bypassing lunch with coworkers, Horgan has taken to running the steps of the Senate while humming the Rocky theme song. Lovell has been mercilessly testing the threshold of human endurance and pain by doing one-armed push-ups while her students sit on her back.
As of now the preceding extracts represent rumor, legend and speculation. This reporter has scoured the greater DC area in search of F.C. players to interview for a first hand account. However, in the build-up to the big game they have become more and more elusive. F.C defender Andrew Donica could not be reached for comment. In a statement released by his manager Donica is reportedly “sequestered with ancient maters in the Hua Shan mountains, preparing himself physically, mentally and spiritually for the upcoming game.”
Ancient masters, secret meetings, assassination conspiracies…if this match lives up to half of its hype it will surely be one for the ages. Like so many fans around the world, this reporter waits with bated breath for the showdown of the century.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Inaugural Post
Welcome to the F.C. K Street Blog! It will be your source of all things Capital Hill League related as well as a collection of nonsense. Please feel free to post at any time – the funnier the better!
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